Journal Excerpts: 2020, the year from/of Hell
Note: I’ve written journal entries every night for the last 35 years, but this year has had special challenges. Staying home has brought a lot of repetition in day to day activities, but my fictionalized accounts spice up an otherwise mundane existence.
(Since my entries are handwritten, I have very slightly edited for some clarity, though not for spelling and punctuation)
I zoomed the AM meditation meeting & seemed to spend a lot of time doing nothing, I did order groceries for curbside pickup…my day was briefly enhanced when I glanced out the backdoor while dropping some dirty laundry into the baskets and saw a man in a black suit & fedora skulking through the overgrown weeds and vines in the backyard. Maybe he was checking the fence so he could repair it anonymously but then I noticed he had white socks and short pant legs which made him way too nerdy for manual labor. I determined that he was simply lost and stupid & figured the crows & squirrels could deal with him. So I sat back down at the loom. I did take a quick trip to town later this afternoon to pick up groceries….Don’t know what happened with the fedora fella.
Read, painted & this evening made pizza & had pizza & ice cream for mother’s day. The wolf that has been prowling the neighborhood finally took care of that whiney child so the chickens are safe for awhile.
Mac and I walked one of our other routes today & my day had the added excitement of not 1, but 3 loads of wash, hung up, dried and folded. It’s amazing how laundry can be seen in a new light when it adds to the usual day to day routine. I even hung the socks together. So nice of me….on an unexpected and not altogether desirable trip to town…I was despairing but the trip to town on the backroads was a pleasant outing & even calming….The day was, thus, slightly less than routine and the fact that I saw a spectre rise out of the green swamp on the side of Millhopper Rd was an added bit of substance though spectre’s can’t really be said to have substance. The lighter yellowish-green shimmer of the spectral shape was visible when seen through the surrounding aura of the slightly darker greenish swamp gasses that were imbued with a more milky opaque hue.
Woke, walked, wrote, painted, read & stepped out of my comfort zone & tried something new when I put on both socks before putting on both shoes instead of my usual pattern of left sock, left shoe, right sock, right shoe. Wow!
Shoes and socks were back to normal & that’s about it….thought about taking Mac for another walk this evening as it was breezy & not too hot, but a small helicopter suddenly landed precariously next to the church across the street and a good looking middle-aged black man got out rather gingerly as the door was facing upwards against the left of the craft. Luckily the rotors kept it from toppling all the way to the side. Anyhow, he adjusted his white toga-type robe & glanced around, looking a little disoriented. He saw me standing at my gate where I was deciding whether to check it out or call for help & he gestured w/ a slight wave & quizzical smile.
I went across the street leaving Mac barking in the yard and approached the man to see if he needed assistance. He said his father had sent him but apparently he flew off course because this church didn’t seem to be the right one. He enquired about other churches around here & I told him to pick just about any corner, road, path & he’d find some kind of church. He glowed a little at that, a little color lighting his aura and said he’d heard about a One-legged-Ghost Angel shrine somewhere nearby. Surprized, I explained how I’d found the image on a power pole in the park and left offerings over a period of time. Sadly I had to tell him that the shrine finally was dismantled, apparently not fitting the purpose of the city’s baseball & softball leagues. The image remains, but the offerings are gone, given up the ghost so to speak. The fellow scratched his head where it seemed that a goldish glimmer appeared and then he asked where he could find Marshmallow Man & Grace. I was taken aback that he knew about these two and asked how he knew about them.
“Oh,” he replied “my father said they’d gotten out & he wondered where they’d got to.”
Not sure how much to say & not sure who this dude was I just stood there and looked at him. He looked around & then at me and said he’d heard I’d been talking about him.
“Not sure how that could be” I said “since I don’t know who you are.” Pleased at myself for leaving the fucks out of my comment.
“Wellm’m” he drawled in an odd countrified tone “I’m Jesus & you had some questions about what I done after I got resurrected.”
“You gots mo questions fo’ me?”
“Uh, well.” I wasn’t really sure if I believed him especially since he talked funny & crashed his helicopter, but figured I’d ask what’d been on my mind. “Did you have sex?”
“God only knows!” he laughed “and look where that got me. I’m in fucking Archer Florida looking for a One-legged Ghost Angel, Marshmallow-Man, Grace lady and even a Spirit Grandmother. My father told me I’m slipping if I can’t hold on to a little spirit & guys like Marshmallow Man & Grace usurp my role. Shit”
By that time other folks had gathered and law enforcement had arrived & he, Jesus I guess, was busy trying to explain why he didn’t have ID, a pilot’s license or a flight plan. Mac was really barking now & the commotion was getting irritating since it had disrupted my curiosity and left me wondering. Apparently Jesus, whoever, felt the same way. He looked over the crowd as I backed away towards my side of the street and mouthed “have you found them?” I touched my chest. They’re here. And so today had a few things going on.
Slept late. Seemed like I did stuff, but I didn’t…
Fuck. Shit sucks
A little less fuck shit today. Painted & read-pretty much what I did yesterday.
Almost back to whatever version of normal is normal….Painted & read as usual but am not up to telling the major story of the hippopotamus in the yard.
Got up early & Mac & I took a walk. I did laundry, cleaned, showered & even read a little all before 10:30….I painted most of the afternoon…The large snakes stayed out of my yard & I think only got one of the neighbor’s dogs & no cats.
Lazed in bed this morning & didn’t do shit all day….This evening Mac & I took a walk. Luckily it hadn’t rained too much so it was pretty easy to dispose of that body.
…This evening all my electronic devices are possessed-really-I’ll be doing something & all of a sudden-whatever device it is-things start moving and clicking from one thing/screen to another & I won’t be doing anything. It’s frustrating & pisses me off so I’m giving up & am going to read in bed for awhile.
5/27/’20I didn’t do much of anything though I did get a few things mailed off…it was a day of random stuff…My electronics seemed to work today…
Got up early for a long steamy walk w/ Mac. Wrote a couple more letters, the last I’d planned to write. Maybe I should just write to random strangers. I painted compulsively all day & that’s it. Somebody let some weasels loose & they’re running up & down my drainpipes singing the Eensy beensy/itsy bitsy/spider song. Luckily the rain came & washed ‘em all out before they ripped my flesh.
I did paint this afternoon….switched to FB for a bit, I found that concerns over the shit this country is dealing with overwhelming, terrifying & exhausting. I often want to resort to cute kitty videos, but to look away form or ignore the problems we are facing doesn’t seem right. People-black people & others are dying because of white privilege & white assholes & I can’t not pay attention. I would go out & join protests but that is another conflict in terms of Covid 19. It’s bad, getting worse & will get even worse. My words seem empty but I do have a voice that I can use if & when needed. Today it’s mostly used talking to and arguing w/ myself…I hurt for Mr. Floyd, & the agony he endured as he was murdered, slowly by a cop. I hurt for all who – fuck – it just hurts that people die & have to endure because of stupid asshole white people.
Fucking month is finally over. It’s been long & rough & as it ends it just gets worse. Murders, riots, the asshole-in-chief & his diarrhea buddies make everything even worse & worser…I’m just fuckin’ tired.
Riots, murder, plagues, locusts & it’s not even fiction….
Didn’t do a hell of a lot of anything which is about as much hell of a lot of anything as usual. A group of Indians & Zulu warriors walked through the politically incorrect portal-or correct porthole if the one by sea-or was it two? Anyhow they appeared in my yard wearing full regalia and danced around my little plastic pool doing a rain dance. Then they all trooped in to use the bathroom, get some water & charge their phones. It’s raining.
Listened to the rain this morning not wanting to get up but Mac had other ideas as did my bladder. I made bread today but beyond that not much. It was hard to think because of the heavy equipment that arrived in the neighborhood to begin construction of a new reverse-space station that will be able to house returning voyagers who have been expelled by alien cultures.
The full Strawberry Moon is tonight but not visible because the weather is so rainy and steamy that all the overripe strawberries in the fields surrounding Archer exploded sending a reddish globular haze into the atmosphere where it is being held aloft by the sticky humidity thus blocking the moon from view, or us from the moon’s view.
It continued to rain steadily & heavily all day & I finished the book I started yesterday, diddled w/ doodles and minis & occasionally checked outside to see if the snorkelers had found the bodies that had floated out of their graves in the hidden burial plot that was unknown until the area near here flooded & a few feet & arms sent floating by followed by an arm or leg & an occasional mass of intestines. The bodies surfaced not long after. It looked like the chains that had kept them in their makeshift tombs had rusted & disintegrated with time, and the recent deluge finally weakened the links. After the first few bodies appeared, it was just more of the same. I mean dead is dead so I checked Facebook & am going to bed.
Got to Michigan City after a 16hr. straight road trip.
(And now a commercial break with Hoosier Reality and Company. Reality overrides fiction)
Rylee (my wonderful Hoosier granddaughter) and I made it home. (To Florida, but still stuck in nonfiction)
Took this out last night to write & forgot….Rylee and I played 2 versions of the game “Go to the Head of the Class” & got so hysterical over the questions that I pissed my pants & then did it again during our fly swatter war. I laughed until my stomach hurt! What a joy to spend this time with Rylee. (Sometimes reality is better than fiction)
…forgot to mention that on Saturday the 27th I picked up-virtually on Zoom-my 27 year [AA] medallion.
The plumbing is fixed! (After the kitchen sink being totally clogged since the 29th-fuckin’ reality!) Apparently my try w/ a green drain un-clogger worked….but no electricity now….
Rylee and I blew shit up tonight! Lots of fireworks, a few sparklers & one failed attempt at blowing up a watermelon….I’m exhausted. Blowing stuff up is hard work!
Rylee & I played a few games before heading to Tampa [for Rylee’s flight back to Indiana] & the ride was fast & easy & we arrived @ the airport w/ lots of time to spare. I was able to go to the gate with her & she breezed through security & I got a body search!
(And now back to our regularly scheduled lack of reality)
…Piddled obsessively w/social media & half berated myself for staying up late & the other half didn’t give a shit. Bed, and now thoughts that it’s time to start fictionalizing my journal.
Mundane tasks and spending a lot of time doing nothing took up a good portion of the day. Bursting forth from the land; however, appeared a miraculous mirage of shimmering silver & rose hues in towering prism=like spheres, orbs that at once hovered and soared. While only momentary the sense of time standing motionless made the heavenly spectacle timeless. As soon as it started it faded with little popping notes as the lights of the spheres dimmed as each bubble burst back into the earth from whence it came.
Painted a couple frames & read & made bread & this morning it was somewhat less humid & hot so Mac & I went poppin’ in the park. He was so happy. The deadline for the block washing competition is next week and I have to decide what block head might be worth washing and if so will my read sponge do the job or do I need to use a pumice stone. Of course technique is important, but speed w/grace wins the race.
…I took Mac for a shorter, but still hot walk this evening & got back just as a few rumbles of thunder started, they get close & loud & then distant so it may be a dark & stormy night. (yes, I really wrote that)…
Again painted most of the day & continued my frustration w/ the printer & simply gave up on technology…Walked out to the pens to see if the pigs wanted to go to the pool but their towels were all dirty & Sukey had a hole in her suit so this was a day that no pigs would swim.
Got around to dealing w/ the printer issues & managed to get that shit straightened out. Aside from reading a bit, I painted & enjoyed watching the bears toss watermelons in the backyard.
Painting, reading, cataloguing, depressing, lying-downing, because I had no energy or desire to do anything. I communed with the spirit of the witch doctor who is adept at conjuring spirit animals and spectral souls as laser shows that are only visible to those willing &/or able to look or slip into a variable dimension. He was a bit boring & gruff in his communication today so I gave him a spirit slap and sent him on his way.
Life pretty much sucks. Bathed Mac after brushing him & had to clean the house first because it was too dirty for a clean dog. I finally showered, did 2 loads of laundry & realized the dryer was broken, So, fuck it.
(And now a break for a depressive break down)
The day has been pretty much the same as every other though I am looking at things with not so dim a view as over the past couple weeks. I purposely say less dim rather than brighter because to my mind there is a distinct difference. The day has been memorable in that I remembered it was Tuesday & I was able to join the 5:30 Zoom meeting but even moreso because during the meeting someone coincidentally mentioned that llamas are now quite popular. Just today as I sat on the porch I heard the jingling of bells and a parade of brightly dressed llamas came down the street. They were wearing an assortment of colorful outfits. Some wore feathered hats, others flowing scarves or boas, several wore garish Hawaiian shirts while others were content with ribbons woven into their coats. As they perambulated by in a casual loose formation, they nodded at the few neighbors who happened to be in their yards and merrily jingled the bells that many wore around their ankles-if llamas have aankles. That brought a cheery note to the day.
…I painted, finished one book & started another & did a few little steps on the free online class I’m taking. I also had my usual Wednesday Zoom appt….So, I wasn’t all that intrigued when a couple non-descript guys showed up on a tandem bicycle selling an assortment of googles out of a handbasket. The goggles were all tangle in a clump & kept getting caught in the basket & even though I told them not to get them out they still fumbled clumsily until I let loose a few choice expletives & let the monkeys out. It was funny to watch them clamour over each other to get on the bike & then wobble off clumsily still trying to dislodge their damn goggles.
Very little occurred today beyond the usual day to whatever-day-it-is stuff. The only thing that popped up unexpectedly was the leaping larva that emerge from their little larval tubes on or near the last day of July during a leap year. It was particularly spectacular this year since the leaping larva are drawn to death and have such a highly evolved olfactory system that they are able to sense not just death itself, but the relative accumulated mass of dead bodies even if the body-or what’s in the body-isn’t even dead yet but is on the verge of imminent demise. Normally hard to see the leaping larva due to their microscopic size, the sheer numbers in this year’s event provided close observers [a chance] to see small sparkling flashes near the ground and under certain conditions even hear a soft smacking sound as they anticipate a meal before going tubing for four more years.
Mac & I went to the park this morning & other than a bit of reading, I painted compulsively all day…I enjoyed the dance of the crows this afternoon as they swung around on the wires with their little canes & tophats & the crowettes with their parasols.
Same old shit, another day & now another month. The crow show of yesterday had the phone ines swaying and today the lines were also the venue for a slower show provided by the mini-sloths. Almost as small as hummingbirds they hang from the wires. That’s it!
I diddled and doodled the afternoon away & continued doodling w/out the diddling into the evening. I’m actually going to be relatively early and a brief party w/ Colleen who is celebrating her 38th birthday & discovered that she is transportable via my old metal dial phone & she came through in long gossamer spaghetti-like vapors, emerged as a whole & we shoved cake into our faces & did a quick reel to the sound of happy birthday fireworks & then she reversed the process getting back home w/ none the wiser.
‘Tis the night of the full moon-the Full Sturgeon-which is the highlight of an otherwise blasé day…no outward or untoward events other than going out in the backyard to stomp down some annoying volcanoes.
Went through moments of frustration & irritability but managed to work through a few problems & things worked out…It’s very late, did a lot today & that’s as much as I can say. The scratching of odd phantoms in the backyard can be annoying though.
Painted a little, read a little but mostly pigged out on junk food & compulsively played games & FB’ed on my phone. The mud played games today too when in little pockets here & there it would bubble up and create statuettes of famous pigs and a couple chickens. One in particular was quite inventive with Elmer Fudd and Foghorn Leghorn depicted in an awkward embrace.
A relaxing day & did pretty much a lot of nothing. I didn’t kill anyone.
…was pretty unmotivated for most of the day. I painted a little & watched some of the course videos for my free class & I do enjoy those…also spent a lot of time sitting on the porch & just sitting. The little rabbits that were slithering down out of the trees, melting plastic-like into the background of the underground symphony were an interesting sight in an otherwise bland, non-descript day.
I couldn’t say one thing I did that was worthwhile or even worth remembering let alone recounting. Duh, blah.
…mostly I managed to do nothing, though I did paint a little. The leaf eaters flew over littering leaflets.
Got the car in for maintenance, got Mac in for maintenance & maintained enough to not kill anybody today even if they probably deserved it.
Kinda just plodded through the day. I was able to paint for a while my head swam in circles
And then a couple duddlier months than previous dud months.
And we’re off!…I didn’t do shit for the rest of the day & have stayed up late continuing to not do shit. Enough no shit.
…And so it went from beginning to end…
I have been at loose ends-at least in my mind. I’ve done things today but don’t/didn’t feel I was all there-then again, I don’t know as if I’ve ever been all there, but that’s neither here nor there.
Doing shit, but it’s tough. Everything is so hard & fuck.
The struggle continues as I teeter on the edge of barely holding it together & not holding it together or-leaning farther away on the other edge-possibly pulling it together. I thought today would be better, but it wasn’t. Fuck
…discovered that someone had gotten into my car, rifled through the console & glove box & took my iPod. Just one more thing I didn’t need. Things are falling apart & I’m barely keeping from falling apart.
This has been one of the most amazing birthdays ever….
…I blobbed the day away…but at least got to watch a beaver eat cabbage. (A real live video on FB!)
Mostly putzed & got little to nothing done…Now the crickets can perform their nightly serenade.
A lazy but good nothing day. That’s all she wrote.
Slept pretty well and the sadness of yesterday seems to have disapated. (sp)I frittered the day away with random activities-or lack thereof that were weird, kinda fun & mostly lazy. It’s late & the weekend is here which is really meaningless as one day bleeds into another. Guess I’ll have to start doctoring my journal again.
Zoomed the AM mtg & then wove & read & painted & had an all-‘round crafty & enjoyable day. The mini-trolls stomped around through the underbrush in my backyard and bent the beanstalk but I think the moose scared them away.
A day of calm & serenity w/ minimal cleaning and maximum painting. Mac & I walked this evening & saw a few marionettes jumping and pirouetting (sp) from the clouds.
…I stayed home & painted mostly & seemed to hit a new high-or low-depending on how you look at it of being totally weird.
Mac & I walked this morning & the rest of the day was spent in typical fashion-nothing new other than a few rhino’s in the backyard floating in a mirage sipping frozen daiquiris with rainbow umbrellas.
…my day was as eventful as a slice of processed cheese. I couldn’t even pull it together to take Mac for a walk even though the weather couldn’t have been much nicer. Basically I didn’t do shit.
Halloween, a full Blue Moon-the Hunter’s moon & it is beautiful tonight….The clocks go backwards tomorrow & at least it’ll be a new month. – I should not predict – the way 2020’s going I’ll jinx the world & we’ll be stuck in Oct – Halloween- until the end of time – if there is any.
A month, another fuckin’ month in the year from Hell. Started rainy which seemed apt. I read & piddled & didn’t do diddle. I did write a stupidly weird re-telling of The Gingerbread Man. My brain is not working too well wavering between brain dead & overdrive.
I think I join most of the people in the country & around the world in a combined high blood pressure scale that is off the charts. The stress level on this Election Day eve & all the awful BS that is surrounding the divisiveness that seems to emanate across the land is reaching its culminating point-at least as far as an outcome of this fucking election, but I fear the resulting backlash over whatever result is going to be big and scary.
I go to bed w/ a low level of hope & high anxiety. I stayed up late to listen to some of the election results which are grim-How the Fuck! We’re fucked. I’m going to go to bed, gonna cover my head & am not sure I want to come out from under the covers. I’m fuckin’ scared!
Stayed in bed late, but the animals decided it was time for me to get up. Fuck responsibility.
The last page in the journal volume. But, oh! at least a happy page for a shitty year. Biden will be/is the next US President! The asshole-in-chief is history! Kamala Harris is the Vice President elect-the 1st woman in that position! Her speech tonight was electrifying & she & Biden bring humanity and morals back to the forefront of our nation.
I was saddened to hear that Alex Trebek died yesterday & each tribute to him speaks of his kindness and integrity….It rained all day & the little microsporisms were flitting about painting the raindrops, a monumental task & luckily only a few lost their isms.
Slept in & am not quite sure that I did anything beyond doing weird things & trying to find shit on the computer that was there & then wasn’t there. Basically I spent a lot of time doing a lot of nothing….I’m not even sure what I’m writing since the only thing that really went on was the occasional bungi-jumper who, of course in Florida, have to pack their own pre-fab cliff kits.
My total weirdness was re-confirmed-as if it needed to be-when I started obsessing about whether the eyebrows on my camo-slug were uneven. Uh, duh, yeah! At least I opted NOT to put whiskers on him. I have felt and acted like a petulant child today. I didn’t want to clean, so other than [kitty] litter, I didn’t. I don’t want to grow up or adult or be responsible. It’s all too hard. All this is not part of a depression, just because.
A beautiful, mild day & I didn’t do much of anything outside other than hang laundry. I just didn’t feel like fuckin’ walking. Still it was a pretty good day. Sitting on the porch, I watched as little explosions of purple turnips popped up & then flew off like little gyro-copters until they were out of sight in the shimmering light the massive numbers created as they hovered together, oh so briefly, gleeful in their escape from earths dominion. “We will return to dominate!” They declared in unison. “Just you wait until the turnips turn up. Stay tuned in & turned on!”
…I did go take the trash out & encountered a convention of mini-philosophers in the trash can pondering all the shit, but they scattered as soon as I opened the lid. I guess they had enough shit & scurried off to ponder some other deep conundrum.
Thanksgiving Day, the day of the beginning of the mass annihilation of the first peoples, and also the day of Marcy’s Birthday. It has been a completely lazy day. I baked a delicious apple pie & ate a couple pieces alternating w/ mini sandwiches.
There was frost on the ground this morning & there’s a freeze warning for tonight as well. Mac & I went for a brisk walk & I wrote some cards & made lemon bars but also spent a lot of time standing there & wondering what I was doing.
Did a couple loads of laundry, decorated the tree & finished the Christmas cards-though there are a couple more I could send. I still have to address them but that’s easy enough & they’ll go out Monday-of course if I say that the mailbox will disintegrate. It’s already compromised because the little herd of mini-beavers has been trying to build a damn, but they must not give a damn because my mailbox is plastic. Still they’re burrowing little beavers & are squeezing under the plastic support and gnawing the wooden post that holds it in place. They’re sneaky little creatures and blink their little eyes so endearingly & innocently that it’s hard to give a damn about the damn damn (& yes it’s damn w/ an “n”.
Painting & cutting out doodles took up a good portion of the day in a pleasant way. Mac & I took a walk on this cool & sunny day so all ‘round I have been happy. There hasn’t been too much in the way of eventful happenings though as Mac and I walked down the dirt road we encountered some little men in tiny hobnail boots & green tartan caps & kilts with brown puffy shirts & short red vests. They had been searching for a 9-pin gaming convention & somehow took a wrong turn out of the Catskills & missed the cut off for the Ozarks and ended up on 139th in Archer. They were a bit skittish at first, especially since they weren’t much bigger than Mac. Turns out they navigate by solar waves & sensations and the current sunburst threw them off course. They’d decided to rest up and head back traveling at night using stellar navigation. I thanked them for the candy they sent via my dad mac when he encountered their 9 pin games in the Catskills and bid them farewell.
Nothing new, old or in between. Just, well, well things are just well-maybe even swell.
A gorgeous sunny warm but not hot day-actually on the cooler side of warm. Mac & I walked this morning & I did some work on framing in terms of choosing mattes & frames & paintings. It was made a bit more difficult because the giants kept walking in the back yards around my house & even though they tried to tiptoe so as not to crush the house & trees, they still managed to stomp a few sheds & knock down a few less sturdy trees. The deep indentations from their feet-even in monster-sized moccasins were big enough for elephant wallows so at least it wasn’t raining. Their laughter rolled like loud tolling chimes as they did the giant version of “Tiptoe through the Tulips!” They tweren’t no Tiny Tim’s! Luckily the giants’ entourage includes little carpenter and landscaping fairies that flit around after they leave and briskly repair all the damage. In fact when they are done everything is exactly as it was.
Had a fun time hanging out w/ Brooke today & while we did start w/ masks we gave them up since playing/touching cards seemed to nullify any protection. Still, I now worry-or at least wonder-if it was the best choice to even have company.
(An interlude of happily, Merry, boring Holiday entries)
One fuckin’ more day in this fuckin’ fucked year! It wasn’t a bad day, as a matter of fact it was rather nice. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that 2020 was/is one fucked up year.
12/31//’20 – 1/1/’21
Fuckin’ finally! Good fuckin’ riddance to 2020. Even if 2021 sucks, it ain’t 2020! I stayed up late, the fireworks/explosions seemed extra loud, started early & a few continue as it’s nearing 1:00 AM. Fine, I enjoyed hearing the blasting away of the year from hell!
It’s been a quiet and rather non-interesting & unproductive day…
No fiction I could imagine could top the reality of what unfolded in our nation’s capital today. Incited by the lies and under the urging & direction of the asshole-in-chief, his supporters who had massed to protest the mandated & unchangeable vote count to formalize the win of Biden & Harris stormed the Capitol building while congress was in session and rampaged through the building. That is a mild description for the events of this day which is a travesty & a black mark in American history. Only one so-called protester was shot & killed which should come as a surprise since most of these terrorists were white. Had they’d been black there would be body’s everywhere. Not only that but the blatant acts led to few or no immediate arrests. There’s books that will be written about this day & what has led up to it over the course of this administration & before and because I’ve been glued to the news since this all unfolded, and it’s going on 1:00 AM, I’ll leave my thoughts over what has been in no uncertain terms an attempted coup (and those are words of political experts, broadcasters & politicians) with a hope that the 25th Amendment will be invoked and the dangerous despot be removed from office before his final 2 weeks in office is up. And that is a discussion that is seriously being considered & will be furthered tomorrow. Guess a good sleep will be useful for being awake to watch events unfold tomorrow. Wow!
The aftermath of yesterday seems to be in part platitudes & excuses & in part a reality check that exemplifies the vast racial divides that most people in politics want to – or pretend to want to – put a bandaid on without addressing what actually exists…zoned the evening away.
…I managed to waste the evening as apparently I’d done in the morning.
The political drama continues and the right wing fanatics are a very scary group of armed assholes and the threat of violence up to & through the inauguration of Biden & Harris on the 20th is all too real. While I am paying serious attention to news and reports, I also continue to be very aware of the threat of Covid, so it seems as if the safest thing to do is to continue to stay home.
Spent most of the day busily doing nothing…Just chillin’
The weeblies were somewhat of a problem as they kept getting underfoot after sneaking in on their invisible transporting devices & although they’re not big, they cry out in a loud screech when it appears you might step on one. Unlike lego’s at least you get a warning though that screeching can seem as bad as a sharp-cornered lego especially when Those weeblies are everywhere & they’re almost impossible to see. Unlike their transporsting devices, weeblies have a luminescence around them mostly because they like shoes with shiny LED buckles. Hard to say, but I think that’s all they wear.
The last fucking day of the last fucking asshole-in-chief! Tomorrow a real president, Joe Biden, & Vice President, Kamala Harris, will be sworn into office on Inauguration Day! Today I got my first Covid-19 vaccine…
1/20/’21 Inauguration Day!
This has been an emotionally stimulating, exciting & joyful day. I was glued to the television as I watched Kamala Harris sworn in as the Vice President of the United States, the first woman, black, Asian-American and Joe Biden sworn in as the 46th President of the United States. The ceremony was beautifully choreographed with Lady Gaga a show-stopper singing Our National Anthem along with Garth Brooks with a rendition of Amazing Grace that he asked the crowd & home audience to join in on, & I sang & cried at home alone but a part of a large group.
The speakers-few really, only the Father offering the prayer & the minister offering the Benediction-[both] were thoughtful, eloquent without being preachy. The poet was amazing & Biden’s speech was considerate & clear. What struck me, though, that amidst the extraordinary health & security measures, the thing that stood out the most in all the pomp, ceremony & seriousness of the event, was the joy that could be seen on the faces oof Bide, Harris, their families & most of the attendees.
The smiles were evident even behind the masks. There is a new sense of humanity, humility, ethics, morality & love (a common thread in the speeches) that is now in the White House. And Dogs! Rescue Dogs! I felt a palpable sense of calm & a release of a breath I felt as if I’d been holding in for the last 4 horrible years. From horrible to Hope. Wow. I’m still quite hyped over the day & the great tributes that took place instead of parades & balls due to Covid & threats of violence. Too bad the asshole movement didn’t evaporate with the displacement of the despicable despot-but in a way the toned down traditions gave rise to a more inclusive tribute to all Americans. Plus spectacular fireworks! At 1:00 AM as I write things are finally, happily, looking bright.
It was a yucky, drizzly, chilly day so I skipped a walk. I went out to the trash & to the mail box & that was enough considering that there were a couple stray demon-fairies hiding in the branches of the trees & once they get a bead on an unsuspecting person, they can be merciless as they shoot sticky stringy stuff out of their little plastic pinky rings. Luckily I spotted a couple before they were able to duck back into hiding so escaped their pesky purpose.
Made Glorious Morning Muffins & did a small cleaning…It seems like I did more but guess not, though I did finish Week 1 of my course Aboriginal Worldviews & Education. It was a little chilly & the weasels thought they’d be funny & play Pop goes the weasel, but their fun got a little raucous as it turned into a game of whack-a-mole which the moles didn’t appreciate & finally the crows had enough and started dive bombing & the weasels scattered, the mole dug deeper into their holes & the crows were kept from murder.
…puttered here, puttered there, puttered puttered everywhere-well, she sputtered, not really everywhere, mostly at the desk putting weird stuff on the website. Though the day was quiet, I did appreciate the sound of the marching troll band as they came down the alley playing their cymbals & nose flutes.
… spent a huge amount of time creating a post about raccoon love for FB – I mean really? What the fuck! I also edited another month of journal entries for my website & I have no idea how or why that shit drivels from my brain onto the paper, but the benefit of staying home most of the time is being able to notice things going on around you and since I spent most of the day in my office, I hadn’t noticed that the day had warmed up nicely until I took a break for kitty litter, coffee & peanuts & to check the mail.
As I sat for a short time on the porch soaking in some sun, I heard strange noises coming from under the house. It soon became clear that it was the mind-reading, judgmental talking badgers. They were chattering, as badgers do, in their throaty deep voices and I overheard them complaining about my obsession with today being the day Raccoon’s mate-as informed by the Farmer’s Almanac-and saying that they, unlike Raccoons don’t need an announcement to proclaim their sexual activities. Their chattering complaints continues as they ridiculed stupid humans who think Valentine’s Day-one fucking day a year as they laughed hysterically-would be enough of a show of love to make up for all the other days humans are assholes pretending-not so well at times-that they love one another.
The damn badgers were quite loud by now, their complaining turning into hilarity and I heard them rolling around and teasing each other with little fart come-ons. The farts started wafting up through the porch floor & I finally had to put my foot down & shout “enough!” Of course they knew I’d been listening & then went off on a tangent of complaints about my writing about weasels but not about badgers. I had to promise them I’d write about their behavior today, though they then complained they didn’t want me to write about their complaining. Well, fuck, I can’t be bothered by what badgers want. I have to stick to the facts and so the truth will be told. They are, though, in general pretty jovial badgers & I can identify with their judgmentalism & distain, and even with their farts. Before I came in & they went back to their badger bungalows we had a short fart-off & I will say badgers are tough competition.
Well, the end of a memorable month. And it went out for me in a very unmemorable fashion. In fact I have little memory of the day ‘cause I really didn’t do shit….It’s been windy as hell all day & now-at close to midnight-the rain has blown in, & the month is blowing out.
A chilly, windy day & other than the trash & mail I stayed inside…frittered the evening away. A totally blah & pleasant day.
I did stuff this morning but couldn’t say exactly what as it seemed like a lot but it turned out to be a lot of nothing. Mac & I went for a walk & I noticed, again, as we walked by the Monster house, that the monster seems to have been supplanted by a witch which would seem to be scarier but she’s kind of a white trash witch since instead of a broom there’s as old PVC pipe propped on the porch. Still the witch bitch did oust the monster who was a very big, dark shadowy figure that urged me to have a cautious fast pace as we went by, but now the presence is eerily spooky but harder to discern as she seems to be lying in wait for the opportune moment & she’s probably cleaning up monster goo & mash.
Kinda a nothin’ day…
The main excitement of the day was the paper-making factory that was erected on the fly to handle the overgrowth of paperflies in the area. After about 8 hrs of frenzied fly-catching & processing, about 30 tons of fly paper was produced before it was all dismantled.
I decided to do several things today & failed at getting any of them done…Must have been the day for fuck-ups…Poop on the day!
Generally more of the same, read, painted, added to my website & was brought out of dud-dom for a short moment by the flying trapeze killer worms who set up their evil wormy circus in the street in front of my mailbox & as a result my mail was not delivered because the nasty, murderous worms swung from their trapezoidal trapezes onto the windshield of the mail car & although some of the less acrobatic worms were sacrificed to the glass non-safety net, the most vicious wormed their way into the driver’s window & sucked her brains out before she could figure out which mailbox she was trying to open. The murderous trapeze worms devoured the rest of her & then packed up all the leftovers, threw the acrobatic & circus equipment into the postal vehicle & sped off with a deadly wormy burst of speed with their wormy whistles wafting in the wind. After that not much else happened.
The day has been so quiet it might have gone by unnoticed until the hole of brilliant-hued magentas opened in the sky in my front yard as I pondered the purpose of life. Peeking down from this portal were dozens of starry-eyed elfin guinea pigs who proposed as one in a squeeky voice that they would be willing to trade profound enlightenment theories for the opportunity to descend from their galactic perch to poop in my yard. They assured me that they wouldn’t be messy & their shit didn’t stink & was, in fact, of a lighter magenta hue that would lend a temporary sheen to the yard. Fully trusting their discretion in their toilet, I agreed & they grabbed a strand which wrapped around them and returned them to the hole. As the last one finished & turned to go, I asked about the promised profound enlightenment theory. Tough shit, said the fucking little pig and as he rolled up in his strand and lifted towards the magenta opening that was starting to fade slightly in tone, I could only shout “fuck you you little shits!” Then the whole hole disappeared with nothing in the sky to indicate the whole hole situation. If it hadn’t been for an aroma wafting from the light magenta sheen in the yard, I might have wondered if the whole thing occurred. Little shits! Your shit smells like shit! I thought complainingly.
I rearranged my bookshelves in the office to put more paintings in…I painted frames & then-whoa-turned to baking & made challah bread…It was a rainy morning & there were a few moments of sun, but now the rain seems to have settled in as a steady downpour. The mini-moose that were in the overgrown lot across the street yesterday seem to have moved on but there are a few sheds of red cloth left f behing -shit guess I’ve forgotted how to write-behind when their hats and scarves got caught in the vines.
Awoke on this Valentine’s Day to a loud chorus of birds amidst dripping remains of rain & then more. Coffee, cats & a book…This afternoon I painted a couple more frames & didn’t do a hell of a lot else. Kinda a dud day, not bad, but I wasn’t all caught up in doing anything.
I took Mac for a walk & as we were going down the last stretch of dirt road, a great noise arose in the woods on the side of the road and a confused wooly mammoth clumbered out in front of us and asked how far it was to Peoria. Though mammoths are thought to be extinct, Horace-that was his name-explained that there are a few secret pods of “Woolies” as they prefer to be called, in select locations around the globe. The largest one in America is in Peoria where they live in woodsy areas around abandoned industrial sites. He was down here, he said, searching for a couple young woolies who took off to see the world. After bidding Horace goodbye I got home & started framing which required a quick trip to town.
How is it that I missed yesterday? I didn’t even miss missing it. -Oh well. I took a couple pieces to drop off @ the art show, ran a couple quick errands & planned to paint once home. That’ll teach me to plan. Figured I’d do a quick cleaning first & one small thing led to a larger thing & to a huge project…The day was pretty nice to I took a break on the porch & watched the birds in the bath, but the bats were a real spectacle tonight. They were swooping around each other cat(bat)-calling & talkin’ scat but a few were snatching the hats off the other bats & throwing them around which created loud whoops to go with the swoops. Finally a big ol’ mama bat whopped one on the seat-”talkin’ trouble makers” saying “I’ve had about as much talk about yo’ mama’s as I’m gonna take, so get your ass back in your cave or help your mama by catching mosquitos like you’re supposed to do! And take off those damn night vision goggles!”
I’ve gone to bed the last few nights exhausted & brain dead & tonight is no exception. Not knowing the day, date & @ times month only contributes to the brain fog. It would be handy to be like the ludicrous (sp) spider lizards who can sometimes be seen, if the light is right, airing their web-like brains in the early morning dew, draping them gently on a stem of grass or small pepple [pebble]. Then without being seen, they gather their spidery-web brains and their thoughts are clear and focused & renewed until the next brain-airing event. The greatest part is the discovery that the spider-lizard brains are interchangeable & when gathered no one knows who’s whose is who’s whose (?who who), so not only are the brains fresh, the individual spider-lizards all have the fresh thoughts of another.
I have felt at loose ends for a good part of the day, not bad necessarily but just indecisive…I flitted form one thing to another or no thing. I’m hitting bed early as I’m hurtin’ a bit & have been tired & droopy off & on today. That I’ve had to keep running into the backyard banging pots & pans to keep the werewolves from dangling on the vines has probably contributed to my flagging energy.
It’s been a day, coulda been yesterday’s day or any other day, a non day. Nonday! The only interesting aspect came as I went out to check out the full moon. There was a battle raging between the ghouls of clouds and the beasts of the branches. The yellowish semi-opaque ghouls had come in with the low clouds and the dark-red glowing figures of thousands of beasts emerged at the top branches of the trees and greedily grabbed ghouls with grimy gnarled claws and devoured them in droves. The blood bath ended as soon as the ghouls realized they were outnumbered & quickly retreated into the clouds moving ever higher into the upper level clouds. Satisfied & sated the beasts bunched back into the branches a few bloody saliva strings & droplets the only remnants of the altercation.
February ends peacefully on a Sunday that started w/ a walk & then ended up-or continued with me doing bits & pieces of projects & a very cursory cleaning. The main event of the day happened about midway through when a group of stilt-walkers clad in red & orange leopard print tights were clomping around in the Dollar Store parking lot where I’d stopped briefly to get a couple mailing boxes. They were quite a spectacle though I’d be hard put to figure out how half a dozen or so tall figures-even taller on 6 ft. Stilts could all fit in the VW Bug also painted in red & orange leopard print.
It was just a pleasant, comfortably relaxing day. My painting “Dead River Valley” won an Award of Merit in the GFAA show which pleased me immensely. I zombied the evening away & it’s a drizzly rain and cool night so a good sleepy night-I hope I don’t jinx myself.
I did jinx myself & am not sure if I got any sleep last night.
I went outside twice today. Once for about 2 minutes on the porch & once to go to the mailbox. I didn’t feel like doing much so painted mostly & did a few odd & ends on the computer. The damn weasels kept peeking in the windows & when I’d look they’d giggle & scamper away to under the house where they’d skritch & fart & then run back & giggle @ the window again. They’re so cute it’s hard to get mad & since it was a cooler, gray day, they looked especially cute in their bright yellow raincoats & little yellow rainhats.
Of course today is a vital, earth-shaking anniversary of Sascha’s birth and a wondrous even for Me & her& the world at large. A large troop of trumpeting troubadors set up tents and trampolines on the terrace. Terrapins; however, are terrible trumpeters, so the troop took off tentatively traveling to tougher territory.
Letter, laundry, walk, store, gremlins dashing through the neighborhood causing mayhem as they chased each other throwing shoes and pelting one another with eggs they’d pilfered from the neighborhood bird population which made the birds none too happy. So they joined forces to swoop & peck & flap at the nasty little gremlins who, finally outmatched, fled in disarray to the little hidey holes that they quickly scrabbled to evade the furious retaliation of the birds. Many of the grimy little gremlins were snatched up in the talons of some of the larger birds-the crows & blue jays & were rather gruesomely dispatched in a variety of ways, mostly by being dropped from great heights & even by being torn & shredded apart as two or more birds struggled over a particular gremlin to avenge their cracked offspring. Hopefully the little gremlin shoes, pieces of gremlin attire & body parts will be picked clean & removed by the birds, washed away by rains or even gathered by those gremlin survivors brave enough to sneak out after the heat of battle.
Did little blips & blops here & there & guess I did a few things but it doesn’t seem like I got anything done. I’ve been rather unfocused & backed away from doing stuff that I’d get frustrated about & fuck up.
I have no idea what I did today that was in any way productive. I did do a load of laundry & typed up another month’s entries of my pandemic diaries which did give me pause to question my sanity when I typed up 3 pages of conversations with badgers. Even worse, I uploaded the diearies including these pages onto my website & previewed the badger entry on my FB group page.
Painted, sewed, baked, read & just did stuff that required no real brain or physical effort.
After zoning on the porch for awhile, I did a load of laundry & kinda cleaned. I spent way too much time on the computer looking for stuff I couldn’t find & getting frustrated & basically got a lot of nothing done. I gave up & went back to zoning & was entertained for awhile by a turtle house competition. Most of the turtles had just decorated their shells in interesting & creative ways but some went to incredible lengths to enhance & exaggerate their portable homes. One had made an old-fashioned teepee complete with an LED campfire, one group of turtles got together and created a tacky trailer park, each one sporting a trailer on their shell with a central community of trash-strewn yards. One innovative turtle had built a high-rise condo on top of his shell complete with young turtles sipping lemonade on the balconies. The judges were a bit slow in making a decision about a winner & most of the contestants simply withdrew into their shells to wait. After an interminable amount of time, the judges retreated into their shells & no awards were shelled out as far as I could tell. Eventually they all went off in different directions, the competition abandoned or forgotten.
I ventured into a new realm today when I met Valerie for breakfast for the first time in over a year. It was great seeing her, but I am not yet comfortable sitting in a restaurant. I didn’t get much done after breakfast…I didn’t walk today, so wasn’t able to observe if the draft horses down the road had continued to work on the shed roof. When I’d walked by yesterday I’d heard them grumbling to one another about the ladder the owner had left leaning against the shed & assuming that the horses would take the initiative to climb up & make the repairs. They snorted their disapproval at having to climb the precarious ladder when the owner wouldn’t even come out & hold it steady so it didn’t topple while they got on the roof. “I mean how the hell does he expect us to hold it?” said one. “Really, we don’t even have opposable thumbs!” said the other.
Another chill, damp & drizzly day & I went to pick up my artwork & was surprized & happy to receive a $30.00 check with my merit award. Once home I mostly puttered & sputtered around & really, other than making bread & potato soup, can’t say that I did much. I did notice that a large contingent of Brazilian borscht makers were boxing up the drizzly rain, capturing it in funnels that carried the water through a long hose into the specially made rain boxes. As they ran around filling the boxes they chanted loud borscht ballads & swirled their bright red aprons & waved their bright red beribboned berets. The grey day didn’t seem to dampen their mood and every time a beladen beet buggy went by with its load of the freshly harvested tubers, a lively shout went up and they all jumped up & clicked their heels. It was quite a lively affair.
I managed to spend a lot of time very busily doing a lot of stuff and getting nothing done….then proceeded to do nothing all evening, though busily doing nothing without trying to get something done. I did briefly sit on the porch this evening while Facetiming w/ Greyson & Ellyott & glimpsed a rare, fleeting sight of the mini-elephant dance troupe. They were out by the rotting stump, apparently taking a break from their practice/rehearsal. Some were lounging around smoking & one pair was practicing the delicate trunk balancing maneuver while a few others held up costumes to compare colors & sizes & styles to coordinate w/ the choreography. After a short moment soaking up the last of the warm rays of the sun at the end of the day, the troupe trooped back into the trees where they blended into the shadows to continue their typically reclusive practices & performances away from observers who may be, unlike myself, less taken w/ mini-elephant dance troupes.
It’s been a full day. Mac & I walked & fed [carrots to the horse, the donkey, & the pony]. Once home, I refilled [Mac’s] pool & cleaned the house….baked lemon bars & Magic cookie bars. It’s been a good day all ‘round. I sat for a while on the porch & this morning noticed a crew of mice on their little Zamboni’s converted to front end loader/vacuum machines as they came by to pick up the elephant dung left by the mini-elephant dance troupe. This evening my first hummingbird returned.
I walked to the trash & later to the mailbox which were my big outings. Mostly an uneventful day, though the swooping luminescent dragons that appeared as I went to check the mail later this afternoon caught me by surprise as I was almost forced to duck when a yellowish-green one swooshed in and rose up just as it reached me. I think it was as surprized as I. A few others went by higher up & I only caught a brief glimpse of scarlet & purple hues.
Got up early & Mac & I walked before it got too hot. On the dirt road by the railroad tracks we encountered the all skunk drill team as it executed its maneuvers. Watching from a respectable & respectful distance, I appreciated the way their stripes accentuated their clearly defined lines and how their bushy striped tails created symetrical movement as they practiced the standard stand & pivot maneuver that they are so well known for. I felt honored to witness this ritual without the salute of initiation, which I can only assume and is a part of the drill I’m glad to have missed, is as dramatic as it is aromatic. I kept a polite spectator’s distance until they finished off & single file retreated into the woods. Mac was unimpressed & seemed content to lie by my feet & rest until we were ready to resume our walk….In a first for over a year of virtual isolation & in relative safety after having our shots, Virginia came over for some Cribbage & beat me pretty soundly, and then I blobbed the evening away. With a final glance at tonight’s full moon, the full Worm moon, I’m ready to go to bed.
Got up early &went on a walk w/ Mac & came across a large herd of mooses who were playing poker in the woods. They were using cards with camouflage backs to deter any hunters in the area, but the loser was forced to wear a bright orange cap though whether that was to simulate a hunter or provide a target was unclear. Nevertheless the losers of the rounds seemed to enjoy seeing how jauntily they could balance the hat on their antlers. I’d always suspected there were mooses on the looses in those woods but hadn’t encountered any until today. They are generally rather elusive, but in their inebriated state they hadn’t been paying attention to where they’d set up their card game & hadn’t realized they were so close to the road. I gave a quick wave & a nod of my head in response to their apologetic mumbles & continued my walk leaving them to their games. Still, I hoped they were not throwing their cigar stubs into the woods.